I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
