just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
