we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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