I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
