He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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