ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's official drugs can't kill me
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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