It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
