Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
