Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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