im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
