It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
