He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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