LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
