so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
