what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize