I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
