He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
