both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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