I want to walk on stilts...naked
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize