whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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