i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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