he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
