i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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