need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
