I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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