I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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