I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I am mentally ready for anal.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
