we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
