That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
