Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
