If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
