Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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