I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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