just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
