Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
