yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
