i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize