I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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