i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
