Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
