Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
