I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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