And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
