When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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