haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
