is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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