i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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