You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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