i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
