omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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