So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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