he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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