But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
