: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
