Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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