It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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