So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
