How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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