We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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