Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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