hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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