Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
