I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
